Kia Ora, I’m Jess Holly Bates. I help people feel at home in their bodies through gentle, intelligent touch, because I believe everyone has the right to access the good things that their bodies are wired for - connection, strength, joy, safety and the ability to give and receive love.
At The Soft Spot you are enough, exactly the way you walk in the door - you don’t need to ‘do’ or ‘be’ anything. Just show up. I help you tap into the extraordinary capacity you have for wellness, by giving you permission to be kind and gentle with your body. Through listening and allowing, we develop patterns of being that serve you and your body best.
It’s taken me a long time to get to softness as a strength. I came from a family where productivity was equal to self worth - unable to sit still, guilty about sleeping in, where you could always be doing more. As a result, I was (outwardly) the image of success - high-achieving, busy, active, with four part-time jobs and the life-of-the-party - I published books, built a performance career, finished my Masters Thesis, but inside I felt constantly adrenalised, stuck in ‘go mode’ and terrified that without my ‘busy’ness, I was nothing.
In my twenties, that lifestyle suited me, but as I hit thirty, my body began to wear thin - the constant stress of living life hard and fast wore my immune system down. I was sick for six months. I started to notice that constantly ‘doing’ was leaving me unable to deeply connect to other people, to listen or to take proper breaks. I wore my work hours like a badge of honour. But it was making me sick, and overwhelmed, and lonely.
In 2015 I discovered Brene Brown, when I read Daring Greatly, a book about shame, vulnerability and courage. I realised I was completely allergic to vulnerability - and made it my mission to show courage in the face of what I was most afraid of - not being enough. In 2018, I began studying Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy with Body Intelligence, which helped me realise my productivity was really just anxiety - my body was acting like it was running from the tiger, jammed in fight-or-flight mode. As far as my body was concerned, I was just surviving.
In 2019, I started The Soft Spot to counter the narratives of hard work, productivity and ‘pushing through’ that have become naturalised in our fast-paced world. It is a place to allow you the softness and stillness which took me so long to find. I offer you space to come back to your body as a way to process trauma and return to what makes you feel wonderful - a sense of health and ease in your life.
I work from St Kevin’s Arcade, Karangahape Road, Tāmaki Makaurau - your local queer-friendly craniosacral therapist giving you the right to feel good in your body. Every body deserves that. And all bodies are welcome.
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